on becoming a woman

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Do you want to know when I finally became a woman?

When I started owning my dreams and defending what I loved, regardless of what was popular, what was normal, what was expected at my age and what others wanted for me.

I finally became a woman when I accepted my past and stopped letting people try to rewrite history. Knowing who I was and not letting myself be portrayed for who I was not.

I finally became a woman when I knew everything that made me up – was enough. It was special and it was deserving of love. If I couldn’t find love – I would always be enough – because I am firm in my convictions and unwavering in who I want to be.

Make Believe

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She was young.

Vibrant.

Looking for something between the veil.

The veil of this world and the next.

It was so close she could almost taste it.

But then it was gone again.

So much make believe.

There has to be one shred of truth in the folklore.

She was determined to find it.

Anchor

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I am always spinning and spinning with ideas. From one project to the next. I know what I hate and I know what I love, but I haven’t found a way to make it work. I need an anchor. I need to build from the bottom up. If only I could stay in one place for a significant amount of time.

Oh, Florence

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“I’ve got quite a vivid imagination and I’m easily overwhelmed by sensations and things that are beautiful or scary. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a ghost – I think I’m probably haunted by my own ghosts more than real ones.”

Florence Welch

photography

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I like photography for many reasons – but primarily because it helps me to see the beauty in all things. 

The copier with the techno-colored buttons,

The homeless man standing with a sign on the street,

The warped wooden floor boards of an old house.

Behind a lense I can see the beauty and I know how to make it come to life.

Mornings

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Mornings like today make me feel like anything is possible.

How can I bottle that feeling and savor it?

I keep asking myself “there’s got to be something more?”

“You’ve got to be something more.”

Epiphany 

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The light peeks through my cream colored blinders beckoning me to start this Sunday morning.

Let me sleep longer – I toss and turn – using the blanket as my shield.

But no the light – the light keeps getting brighter.

And that’s a lot like how an epiphany begins,

it twinkles and turns catching your eye..

Before its full blown illuminating your life.

Try to ignore it you might,

but eventually.

And I promise eventually,

You’ll give into the light.

want to – have to – need to write 

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Thinking  about chasing old dreams and starting the novel my body yearns for.

But will it be something anyone will read?

does it matter?

Witches and magic.

Women rising above it all.

Lost worlds.

Ordinary becoming inordinary.

Oh, my thoughts run wild lately.