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Fell

     Down

               The

                      Rabbit

                                  Hole

I am walking perfectly content one day, and the next I have tripped and fallen right back down the rabbit hole.

No one could have foreseen this, not even I. 

Maybe with the first, or the last, but not with you.

You were just a bitter sweet memory.

Right?

Just a bitter bitter sweet memory.

I thought of you and sunshine on my face, my favorite song on the radio, and the feeling like this could possibly go anywhere,

But that ended before it even got a chance to really start. 

I came out bruised but not broken. 

Few scrapes but nothing I couldn’t handle. 

Now I am steady walking through the forest. I can barely believe my eyes.

Trying to be careful not to fall for your tricks, 

get trapped by the Queen of Hearts. 

It’s just so hard. Oh so very hard.

The fantasy is so intoxicating. 

Everything in me wants more and more and more and more,

while some distant deep voice is trying its very best to scream No!

You are so hot and cold. 

We are always working at extremes and I am carefully walking, making sure a land mine doesn’t explode. 

Why can’t I be the girl who can spin and spin with her arms out and not fall?

Instead, I start spinning slowly, in control, around and around, just when I get my footing, I start to wobble, 

I get that uneasy feeling in my stomach, I can’t seem to keep my eyes on on anything still, and I fall.

I fall and its a whirlwind. 

I always seem to be falling alone.

No one falling with me, and

no one behind to catch me.