Out of control.
Little less painful.
Little less lonely.
Little less meaningful.
There’s not one.
There’s not two.
There’s not three.
There is four.
Four of them to replace the one of you.
I know I should feel guilty for playing hearts and dancing around their feelings.
But I don’t.
I don’t know what it is I want. Forbidden kisses in the midnight hour.
Someone who checks in to see how my day has been.
It’s not fair.
They don’t know.
I have this way of making someone feel like they may be the only one.
It’s not fair
But none of them make me feel the way I did about you.
My heart has quit loving.
So I dance around their feelings and I spend time to fill the void.
I exchange passionate kisses in the moonlight and leave them wondering when it will ever lead to more.
I should be sympathetic but I’m not. I’m afraid if I stop moving. If they stop entertaining. If I stop being busy.
Then all there will be are thoughts of you. I can’t open up that flood gate.
Buried that pain deep down inside me.
I’m just so reckless now. The dinner. The drinks. The dancing. The kissing.
Rinse and repeat. The alcohol o god the alcohol.
You can’t take a soul free like mine and feed it alcohol. Every impulse has no thought about repercussions behind it.
The pain has subsided. But I don’t know what I want.
You’re gone and you’re not coming back.
Each day I get older and everyone around me finds that special someone.
I don’t know if ill ever find that special someone again.