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Have you ever met someone and instantly had chemistry? I’ve been fighting to stay away. I don’t want to chase, I don’t want to be the one to make the first move. I want you to have your 20 seconds of insane bravery and to tell me what you want.

I am getting older now. I need stability, I need something real, someone willing to test the hands of time with me. You are so much younger. I’ve never been interested in someone younger before and to be honest everything I am searching for, has probably never crossed your mind.

My last relationship was bloody and gruesome. I am still trying to pick up the pieces and he still haunts me. But honestly the space has been for so long that his ghost comes and goes and it barely scares me anymore.

So I am walking this line. Walking this line with you. We hide behind silly banter and hide far enough away where no one has a chance to look stupid. I know if I wanted you … I could have you. But I dont want to want you. I want you to want me. I want you to want me and want all the things I want.

That’s never going to happen.

So we will walk this line and hide behind silly banter. You’ll still play the main role in my day dreams .. but maybe that’s better than starting something that would end up being nothing.