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“I want your warmth but it will only make me colder when it’s over. So I can’t tonight baby.”

Why hasn’t the world collapsed and the firey trumpets sounded the end of the world. Why isn’t this like before. Am I living in an alternate reality where I have been so accustomed to the cold that it has frozen my heart. Is that a bad thing? I haven’t heard from you, not that I expected to. It’s hard to expect anything from someone who is so wrapped up in proving how much they don’t care. or maybe you aren’t wrapped up in that at all.

I can see you sitting in your room with a smirk on your face, you were waiting, waiting for me to give in, waiting for me to breakdown, waiting for your chance to point a finger in my face and tell me I told you so. It hasn’t happened. That really threw a wrench into your plans.

So now what? we have never been here before. Uncharted territories. How ironic.. and I thought we had been through it all. Remember when I told you someday I would have your heart? The changing winds and rougher tides are coming.. are you ready for that? can you embrace it? you’ve had months and months of me being wrapped around your dirty little finger. I wont ever give in, if there’s one thing that keeps me going, it’s that the only power I have left is not giving in. not giving into your notions about me.

Maybe we will never talk again. Go out with a Bang. Literally. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me a little bit, if I didn’t feel it eating away at me. but I’ve been here before. I am not going to play into the same old ending. I am into re-writing the story these days. So even if this chapter closes. I’ll know I never gave in this time around. I had you and it didn’t keep me coming back for more.