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The weekend was a blur. I finally have just sat down and been able to collect my thoughts. Where to even begin. Friday night I met up with some of my really close friends for drinks and dinner. It was a great turn out tons of people showed up that I didn’t think I would get a chance to see before I left. I don’t think I stopped laughing from the moment I got to the restaurant until the moment I decided it was time to leave. I had a wonderful time to say the least. Drama free. I realized just how much I am going to miss everyone.
Saturday rolled around and I was still thinking about V, and why he wanted to know when I was leaving. I chose to text him and ask him. As soon as I sent the text I regretted it. Nothing ever positive comes out of his mouth, I should have just let myself ponder the meanings instead of knowing the real reason. He told me that he was going to visit the city I was moving to and wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to be moving there this weekend, he didn’t want to have run into me? I was astonished at how rude he still is. Don’t get a hold of me out of the blue and ask me that. Who cares. The city is HUGE. The chances we would see each other aren’t very high. I don’t know why I let this get under my skin but I did.
I told him I wished it didn’t have to be this way. He asked me why and I told him because the times he isnt being a raging asshole I enjoy talking to him. He told me he never enjoys talking to me. That since we broke up he only texts me for sex, and when I say No he wishes I would shut up and not text him anymore because I am and I quote ” annoying, retarded, crazy, and I am miserable when I talk to you. ” I wasn’t even being hateful and when he sent the last two paragraph text saying all of that plus how happy he was that I was leaving town and we would never talk again, I just ignored. He even wrote I really hate having to be this mean but I need you to get the point.
What point am I supposed to be getting? I don’t get a hold of you? I didn’t text you at 2:00 a.m. three weeks ago after a month of not talking wanting to hook up. I didn’t text you back when you started being an asshole after that day? And I sure as hell didn’t try and talk to you the day you asked me why I was moving. So this one time in over a month when I ask you a question you decide to try and cut me as deep as you can.
To be honest with you it didn’t even hurt that bad. He can’t do any worse than he has already done. If you don’t want to see me before I leave or if you don’t want to be civil then (pardon my french) but Fuck You. He is so messed up in his own brain I can’t even begin to comprehend it anymore. He hasn’t been with anyone since me, he still thinks about sleeping with me often, he really doesn’t talk to any girls, but he is the devil to me. I don’t know. I care less and less with each passing day.
It just has gotten easier. I go out and I am around people who genuinely want to talk to me and make me laugh. Why would I waste my time being emotionally abused by this asshole? Who literally hates my personality, hates everything about me, but my ass in a pair of skinny jeans. I am just done with it. Take your good looks and your emotional attachment issues and hit the road.
So anyways.. Saturday night rolled around and I spent some quality time with my best girlfriend. We went out to dinner, watched stand up comedy, laughed till our stomachs hurt. We got bored so we decided to text D… who is the extremely good looking friend I woke up naked with a few weeks ago… he told us to stop by. So we debated for an hour if we really felt like driving over there.. and he became more persitent about us coming over. So I said what the hell I am not going to see him for a long time.
We got to his house and I shit you not he was tripping on Shrooms. I literally looked at my friend and was like what alternate universe are we living in where at 26 years old you are still experimenting with mushrooms? Alone? in your house? He swore that he was barely even messed up. If that is even possible. It was weird seeing him because we literally havent spoken since the naked incident. He looked good. Real good. He always does. Cut off T-shirt. Muscular Bod. Hair like Phil from the Hangover. It was hard to look at him and when I did it was hard to look away.
When we left he was texting me and apologizing for being a weirdo. I told him no big deal and he said he would get a hold of me tomorrow. I never heard from him today, so of course in my boredom I texted him asking him how he was feeling after last night. He was really stand offish. Whatever D. I can’t deal with your bipolar mood swings.
There is a lot of male baggage I will be leaving behind. I am ready for it. I am scared I am going to have some emotional break down out of no where. Like I haven’t processed all the mean stuff V said. I never have not cared this much. I hope its permenant I really do.
On to more positive stuff. When I wake up tomorrow I will be driving to become a resident of a brand new city. I will have one week with no work or school to lay by the pool. Explore the city. Find the best happy hour in town, make some friends, and relax. I can not wait.
I hope everyone’s weekend went well. It is rounding the 9pm hour so I better go catch my HBO shows. If you haven’t seen the Newsroom I recommend it. I also watch Trueblood (don’t judge me).
I hope I have some more exciting updates later. I will be putting out a quotes post soon as well.