Have you ever met someone who says they never dream? I find that to be utterly and completely bizarre. I know this might seem mean but how can your mind be that uncomplicated that you have zero dreams. Something isn’t hardwired quite right inside. I am not talking about the people who dream but can’t remember, I am talking about the individual who literally knows they never dream.
My dreams have always been so vivid. It’s as if I go to sleep at night and wake up in an alternate universe. It has it’s up’s and down’s. I wake up often a little bit disturbed only to realize it was just a dream but there are scenarios I get to live out in my dreams that I would never in real life.
Lately it has been more like nightmares. I dream of being chased by murders, or uncomfortable family situations, and of course passed heartbreaks.
Last night’s dream was especially painful. I dreamt I was on vacation with my friends and my recent ex flame. I was being taken away and he was staying with all of my friends. I could literally feel the distance ripping my heart apart. He didn’t want anything to do with me and I was crying, pouring my heart out, I desperately wanted to be with him and every feeling I have ever felt was magnified in this dream. I woke up in a panic. Then finally I was calm. It was weird the feelings I felt in that dream was what I felt months ago. In despair, engulfed by love, and I don’t feel that anymore. I am more in control.
I don’t know if I am burying whatever I felt for him and my unconscious finally just let it all out in this dream, or if maybe he has been on my mind more lately and that’s why it manifested itself. Either way it’s like I can never truly escape him. I can protect myself by not talking to him or seeing him but some part of me is still carrying him around.